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Where SCO Failed, We Will Succeed! 20 July 2008 04:12
"You're violating our IP, now pay up!"
That's how I started off our "partners" meeting in London.
When I first got there I had no idea what I was going to speak about,
I prefer to let inspiration hit me most of the time, this time it
really did. I was in the foyer waiting to be introduced, still
wondering what I was gonna' say, when I saw a kiosk near the door,
something didn't seem right about it though. I walked over to it,
looked at the graphics and asked the stadium manager, "what is this
running?" He responded, "Unbuntu, Redhat Linux or something like that
we got for free." I just stared at him!
INSPIRATION STRUCK!
Then I heard "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Steve Ballmeeeerrr!"
I ran onto the stage like a man on fire! I grabbed the mic and
screamed,
"People who use Red Hat, at least with respect to our intellectual
property, in a sense have an obligation to compensate us!"
The crowd stopped clapping and just looked at me quizzically, (I
wasn't gonna' let people looking confused slow me down, crowds try to
play that old trick on me all the time) so I continued;
"Our friends at Novell knuckled under and signed agreements with us
and soon all open source vendors will be forced to strike similar
deals with other patent holders!"
The Conference Organizer guy tipped up behind me and whispered in my
ear, "Uh, sir, that's not what this conference is about, you're
supposed to talk about ..." my security people pull him away (he got
to close).I charged to the edge of the stage,
"Getting an intellectual property interoperability framework between
the two worlds, I think, is important!"
I just railed on about Redhat, Linux, stealing ideas and code,
changing patent laws and all kinds of cutting edge stuff for about 20
minutes.
When I left the stage, they were so in awe of me that there was
complete silence!
Now That is how you handle a limey audience! God save the Queen.
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
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